The Incoherency Project

mono y mono

kneekoal — Mon, 10 May 2010 20:29:40 +0000

today is monday, however it is my wednesday – only three more working shifts before i have two days off again! i live for days off & just keeping pushing through work. every job has it’s pro’s & con’s & as much as i hate being yelled at by strangers for things out of my control – i love *not* having a 9-5 monday through friday. i like being able to have the same days off as todd.

last thursday & friday were good. thursday, we went out to help my grandmother with moving – she moved in with my uncle & his family so she needed assistance with emptying boxes, etc. todd did some heavy lifting & i put books away & tried to weed through [throw out!] trash my grandmother had unnecessarily. we had dinner with her & my uncle & his partner & my cousin, graham. overall, it was good. family is important & as much as i can gripe & be stressed by family at times, it is important to help where you can & to spend as much time with them as you can. life is short – & things can change in an instant.

thursday was a family day & friday was a loiter, bff day. todd & i headed down to long beach & we spent the afternoon with richard – eating subway, chatting at portfolios [the weather was awesome & an iced coffee was necessary,

nec-ess-ary!

aw, the simple things in life!

after coffee, we loitered around long beach - pinning after homes we can't afford & discussing what we want to move into in the summer. too soon after that todd & i ski-daddled & headed up to LA to try & get tickets to see mono down at the el rey theatre off of wilshire.

[Mono are a Japanese instrumental rock band, formed in 1999] (thanks wikipedia)

luckily, we got tickets & got to see an amazing show! i was feeling a little bit down so i think i didn’t enjoy the show as much as i would have otherwise, but we will definitely go see them again! after the show was finished, i told todd “that was them! that music – they were playing that! it wasn’t recorded!” talk about incredible! the sounds & emotions that four people can create & emit on their instruments, it’s baffling. i really do love instrumental music. i hadn’t heard of mono until i met todd – i was more of a sigur ros fan! i like post-rock, but i don’t listen to it nearly as much as i would like.

todd & i are planning to head down to san diego this week & use some seaworld & san diego zoo passes i got from work so – as always, i am excited to be spending time with him. we always have so much fun together! it’s kinda insane!

mono

cowboys & turbans indian mexican street f00dz

el rey theatre

desert & dinosaurs & prickly trees – oh my!

kneekoal — Wed, 05 May 2010 20:20:07 +0000

todd & i galavanted out to the desert last week. it was an all-too-short trip, but a necessary one. we keep talking about getting away from the orange curtain & we finally put that plan into action – even if it was for only one day.

a palm & a little-foot dinosaur!

looks SO real, SOO! REAAL!

PINWHEELS!

keep calm, it's just a t-rex!

EAAAAAAT dinosaurs!!

"todd, get down" "why?" "todd, get down!"

herro, joshua tree

i moves it.. err, try to

he was right. he has no muscles either

i didn't fall through!

joshua tree kwik-e-mart

- AND - best of all - we found jesus!

a house with a porch.

kneekoal — Wed, 05 May 2010 20:01:59 +0000

it really dawned on me yesterday that i am moving in august, which – i mean – i already knew that, but i hadn’t realized that holy hell! it’s already may! MAY! when did that happen?!?!

probably while i was busy hating my job & trying to dodge as many complaining families as i can!

i’ve been daydreaming a lot about my new place! i’m getting the hell outta dodge orange county! i can’t wait to get back to long beach, it just feels so much more like home there. there’s actually a sense of community in long beach. huntington doesn’t have this – in fact, i haven’t found any city in orange county that has had that cozy, community feel.

i found the *perfect* place yesterday & proceeded to, not only, furiously text richard about it [which, we'd already been discussing moving plans so it wasn't totally out of left field] but i also had to post the link on his facebook page.

thus, further solidifying my desire to occupy this particular craigslist space

since there are going to be three of us living in the new place, i know it’s going to take compromise so that everyone is happy with the decision we make. there are different priorities for everyone, but i think we all think money is the number one priority – but i still have my own ideas… a girl can [day]dream about her perfect house, – can’t she?

do want:

the right price: [doesn't everyone?]

2 bedrooms – 2 bathrooms

a porch! if no front porch, then a patio will suffice

a place that will take animals

[you'd swear todd & i were dr. dolittle - fortunately, richard is being a good sport about our small zoo]

hardwood floors

crowne molding

fireplace

art deco interior

old 1950s tile

a claw-foot bathtub

*PARKING SPOTS* if you know anything about long beach, you know this is crucial

when i lived in long beach before, the city took $360 of my hard earned money in parking tickets

walking distance to the following places:

1. coffee cup cafe 2. portfolios 3. art theater on 4th st 4. the beach 5. k’s house 6. a good dive bar 7. good veg eats 8. a yogurtland [ok. maybe not this one, if i was walking distance - i'd be broke & fat]

i am sure there are many more things that i could add to this list, but at the moment, this is all i can recall. i have already started my furious & undaunting hunt for the perfect place. richard & todd need not worry

[not that i think they are]

i shall find something!

[& it'd better be a something with a front porch!] – - i’m just sayin’

currently pinning after:

kneekoal — Sun, 02 May 2010 21:38:00 +0000

“]

long beach.

vegas in july!!

want. want. want.

camping in the desert & on the beach

resurrection v. resuscitate: a return to the self-documented internetz

kneekoal — Sun, 02 May 2010 21:06:54 +0000

so. it’s been awhile – but based on the lack of “views” i see that no one has missed me.

no worries – i don’t take offense.

i am back in california [& eternally grateful,] but – in true nicole fashion – i’ve been feeling antsy. i’ve been wishing for a never ending bank account so that i could galavant to all the landscapes & cities that i daydream about. ever since my cross-country road trip with richard i’ve been thinking, endlessly, about how i can get out of here.

to think: a year ago, i just wanted to be on california soil

mostly, i think it’s my annoyance with orange county & my job that make me feel a relentless need to FLEE.

overall i don’t really have much to complain about & quickly reading over the few posts from last year – i realize how angry i seem to come across. i don’t think i was angry as much as i was sad last year – it was a hard year: no lies. despite wanting to get back to long beach [& out of orange county] & on the perilous search for the perfect “job”/ career – 2010 has been a good year thus far.

let me repeat this as a reminder to myself: 2010 has been a good year thus far

as much as i’d like to say that meeting someone can’t really make or break a year: that’d be a lie.

back in january i met this guy:

.mine.

& he makes everything brighter. more peaceful. more secure. i find reassurance in him. he’s been helping me through a period of emotional growth & change in my life & i don’t think he will ever realize what a positive light he is in my life.

now: enough of that cheesefactor stuff. let’s get to the point.

POINT i’m highly convinced that i’m no bueno at this blogging business, but i shall endure anyway. after tagging along & sightseeing the blog world for over a year now, i am seriously taking the plunge. i still am unsure of what my

“blog direction” or “blog purpose”

is but i’m gonna keep on trucking & see what i can come up with along the way.

24.

kneekoal — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 03:50:33 +0000

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

- sophia loren –

i don’t get the hang-up over age. honestly, i never have. it’s never been anything i have feared. as i get older, & everyone else around me gets older, i am learning just how hung-up people are over age. fuck that shit. that’s my opinion. i mean, seriously, it’s a number. it’s a day on the calendar. it is what it is. if i believe in all the things that i do – i weed through all the bullshit propaganda, expectations society throws at us; particularly women, i can’t even begin to buy into the idea that getting older is a negative thing. our age is something that is completely out of our control so why should i be so worried about that number going up every year? why waste your time on something so petty. i really just can’t be bothered.

when you think about how many people lose loved ones at such a young age, & would give anything to have those people around for even a year longer, how can anyone really curse getting another year older? people should be grateful for every year they have on this planet. we all know time is fleeting & we should all realize how fortunate we are to have every day, let alone year. perhaps, i just look at the whole thing as “the glass is 1/2 full.”

i’ll be 24 in a month & i’m fucking thrilled because, guess what, i haven’t been 24 before [shocker] & i’m excited to see what the 24th year in my life has in store for me. i know my 23rd year hasn’t been what i had anticipated, but maybe next year? every year is a possibility. it’s presents an opportunity to work on myself more. to try new things. to meet new people. to figure out where i fit in this world. 24 will be an adventure. only time will tell if that adventure will be “good,” “bad,” – what have you, but i’m fucking ready. bring it, 24, bring it! i’m ready.

i don’t give a shit

kneekoal — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:00:37 +0000

everywhere i went today people wanted to talk about tiger woods. guess what, i don’t give a fuck. who cares? apparently everyone in the world except for me. what we should talk about is the reality that:

people are non-monogamous ::gasps::,

the world is a fucked up place.

[if you want to believe that being non-monogamous means the world sucks]

that is all.

in the immortal words of bart simpson [hubba hubba]

kneekoal — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:18:24 +0000

a swedish vampire, upper east side socialite sandwich

dear big boned man in the jolly red suit,

kneekoal — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 02:20:09 +0000

i’m sending you the christmas list i didn’t give my family.

i just don’t think they’d understand my requests.

& since you have a harem of elves AND a wife, i figure you’d be much more accepting of my requests this year.

Thanks, S.C.

XOXO

Nicole

1. LoLo Pasties *since i have recently decided to become a burlesque dancer when i grow up. i think these would satisfy my want & need catgory.*

2. i <3 my penis coffee cup.

*because who DOESN’T want a “I <3 my penis” coffee cup?!

3. “1 Night in Paris” DVD

* don’t act like you’re not at least a little bit curious, after all that hype. it has to be worth watching!! — maybe not*

4. faux leather riding crop

*this could provide hours, upon hours of sheer entertainment. i need one.*

5. ed westwick, preferably in the nude.

*um, yes. just yes. scratch all that other shit on my list & just send me him*

popcorn, toast, jelly beans, & pretzel sticks [10 reasons why i'm thankful]

kneekoal — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 15:55:37 +0000

in my beloved list form:

1. 42 days till @richardmartinez & i start our road trip. it will be epic. there will be slurpees. there will be copious amounts of music that will burn richard’s ears right off his head. it will be amazing. memphis, new orleans, austin, albuquerque, & flagstaff [lame] HERE. WE. FUCKING. COME!

2. this is the 1st thanksgiving that i’ve been home in 5 years. & because my family is so amazing, we said fuck the traditional stuffy sit down dinner. we are going to see a 3D movie & out to dinner. i plan to stuff my face full of red vines, movie theatre popcorn, bread, salad, & some sort of italian decliciousness

[italian pasta, not man... although, if i could find an italian man, i'd take him & let him feed me pasta. naked.]

& yes, i will probably have dairy in it. vegan army, come strike me down now! plus, i will definitely consume jelly beans & those are SOO not vegan. it’s my thanksgiving tradition simply because charlie brown has jelly beans @ his thanksgiving.

3. two words: barack. obama.

4. my self-imposed year-long exile. i’ve had a whole year to think & reflect. although people may not notice, i’m coming outta this exile an entirely different person inside, and that’s all that really matters to me.

5. after struggling with my body image & self esteem for [probably 10 years, with the worst of it occurring in the past three years] i can finally say to myself a size 5/6, & sometimes 7, doesn’t mean you are fat. i may not be as small as i was a few years ago, but i’m a helluva lot healthier & my body feels a lot better than it did when i was in that dark place.

6. my family. it took me a long time to realize that no matter what you think about people you are not related to, – friends. no matter how close you think you are with them, they can turn their back on you. my family, no matter how insanely angry & crazy they make me sometimes, they are my rocks & i wouldn’t be where i am out without. the good, the bad, the insane, the whole she-bang.

7. my 2 children. bagheera & dublin. my 2 fur babies came into my life during a very trying period. they were the only ones, physically, there when all the dust settled & i found myself in an apartment, all alone – in anaheim, with no friends, & my family 3,000 miles away. they are loveable, annoying (at times) ridiculously adorable, & they they melt my little grinch heart over & over again.

8. my home. california. being a child of an active-duty army officer, i spent my entire life “in limbo,” or that’s how i felt. i constantly found myself waiting for the next “assignment” to feel like where i belonged. nothing ever felt like home – even after living in europe & having amazing experiences, it just didn’t feel right. although they say “home is where the army sends you.” that has always been bullshit in my book. i never felt like i fit-in with the other children of military members. i didn’t drink the kool-aid & buy into the idea that the united states military was superior to everyTHING else in the world. when i moved to california in august 2004, it just clicked. that was home for me. there has been a lot of crap along the way, but now i know, for sure, home is where the heart is & my heart is, & always has been – since i was 14, in california.

9. sexy celebrity figures. if not for them, who would i have to pine after? & pinning makes my life interesting.

10. george w. bush went back to his hell-hole in texas. this ALMOST makes me believe there is a god. almost.

*this is my all-time favorite 5 minutes of animation* last year, i made a co-worker sit & watch the whole episode with me* *this year, i have already watched it 3x*